Turning The Lows Of A Marriage Into The Highs
At the beginning of a marriage your spouse can do no wrong. They practically walk on water and everything is perfect. The day to day issues slowly begin to creep in and it is easy to become annoyed at the little things that your spouse does. Over time these slight annoyances can mount and actually cause problems in your marriage.
You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.
1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don\’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.
2. Breathe- There is a lot to this method of calming yourself. Take a few deep breaths and count to ten and you will be surprised at how your perspective returns.
3. Do Not Yell, SPEAK- If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.
4. Do Things To Build Your Relationship- Many people don\’t realize the value of taking time out of the day to to bond with each other. Participate in a shared interest, go to dinner, or plan a romantic getaway. You will find that your spouse annoys you less when you feel attached to them.
5. Turn The Annoyance Into A Joke- Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don\’t see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.
We tend to get stressed at our spouse to quickly, and it is something that we all need to work on in our life. Remember, you spouse is only human, same as you, and sometimes annoyance will occur. If they are handled properly, you will find that these annoyance are not only small but they will be the thing that creates and even stronger bond between the two of you.
When you are looking for an effective way to rebuild the bond between you and your spouse visit Light Your Fire at www.lightyourfire.com. It is a wonderful program that will provide you with greater results than expensive marriage counseling. Visit the site today, and begin making the changes your marriage needs to survive.



